Damn, about three minutes ago I was on a roll. I had a dream last night and it reminded me about something. The dream was about my dreams for the future, one in-particular. And you know I didn't think to much of it but then when I sat down it hit me, this nagging feeling in the gut. This strange feeling of butterflies trying to tare their way from my gut out my throat. And I started to feel like all I was doing was completely ruining me, I wanted this dream, but at this rate I won't get it, this thought was always in my head but never clicked until now. I looked at what I was doing and it, made me feel horrible, and that hen it hit me, I am a horrible person. Going through first grade to the sixth I was a bully and then threw the seventh I didn't do anything. I need to turn my life around because even now I do terrible things. And that dream keeps slipping further and further out of reach.

I ….......I need to change. That dream is to important to let go because of some god awful habits. And to just give an example right before I started to wright this I literally looked at my life and needed to shower. I want to apologize to those around me, I have been a foulmouthed gutter-minded insufferable asshole. I in the future will try to change, because this sobering feeling I have feels really good, and I hope to some day reach my dreams.